‘Bola n’ Burgers

Today for lunch, a bunch of us guys and gals went out to eat burgers. Yep, classic American burgers at the All American Roadside in Smithtown. This week, there’s a special deal, Buy One Get One Free. The guys, with the perfect metabolism and hunger factor, ate two burgers. The gals found a partner. On the line, we made a buddy system and shared the deal.

I have been getting used to the taste of Bobby’s Burger Palace, so when I came to a regular burger joint here, I was agape at how cheap the burgers are. The price of a cheeseburger + milkshake + fries = 1 bangin’ Bobby’s burger + tax.  Now, I was trading in a decorated, succulent Bobby’s designer burger for a simple, build-your-own American burger. At this place, you can pick your toppings and sauces. So that afternoon, I was in the mood for a cheeseburger with lettuce, tomatoes, relish, grilled onions, mushrooms, and FIRE sauce. I like my sugar and spice, especially my spice. Except the fire sauce was not the burn I was anticipating… Either way, my personalized burger was soft and supple, juicy and flavorful. With a side of slim American french fries and ketchup, my meal was complete.

HEY! It looks like a smiling face =P

One BIG problem though. There was nothing wrong with my burger; I loved my lunch with my gang of friends on a hot, sunny afternoon. However, I should have thought twice about eating a hamburger after last night’s Hong Kong horror movie, Ebola Syndrome 伊波拉病毒 (1996), Yi Boh Lai Beng Duk. I watched it in Cantonese and without English subtitles unfortunately, but I don’t know any Cantonese. I figured knowing Mandarin Chinese put me at a slight advantage, over let’s say Korean dramas or Japanese horror movies. For most of the movie, I was clueless as to what the characters were saying and only guessing based on what I saw happening. Pretty good, here’s my account then… It is a story about a psycho-killer on the run (Anthony Wong, also the serious cop in Infernal Affairs), who ends up in South Africa. There, unbeknownst initially, he finds himself amidst an African tribe infected with the horrific, hemorrhagic Ebola virus. He rapes a native woman, a really weird thing to do, when she faints by the river. In the middle of his perverted act, the woman begins spazzing out, like she’s having a major seizure. Stuck and freaking out now, he gets spit in the face. So obviously, this creep gets infected from both ends…

I thought the beginning murder scene was disgusting. Technically, my sister censored me from the gore, but it was very bloody. The next set of murders were even more gruesome. He succumbs to a high fever, but recovers and savagely kills his new restaurant boss and his wife. Ewww, I’m still shivering… He proceeds to chop them up. Again, my sister blocked me from the sawing scene, even when I told her I can handle it after Anatomy class! When it was safe, she moved aside, and I saw a tray of human meat patties. In the subsequent scene, he serves his customers his ‘signature’ burgers. At the tables, you see tourists, Asian and American people, savoring every bite of the specialty burgers. I really wonder how they stomached acting out that scene, knowing the context and script of the movie… I mean, they were smiling and chewing merrily! Flash forward to later scenes, the same people drop and flop on the floor.

Turns out, the infection spreads rampantly around Africa and ultimately, Hong Kong. More infection spreading and flopping Asians. The guy has a strange immunity to the Ebola virus, so he cannot get sick or die, while everyone he infects, on purpose mind you, succumbs acutely. This movie is a huge lesson on the biological laws of transmission. I said to my sister during the movie, “Hey you know something? This is an educational lesson on the modes of transmission. This might prove useful for your Herpes project! Or even better, suggest this to Mr. Piascatelli your health class learning experience. ”

Seriously, every mode of viral transmission was depicted in every sick way possible. When the guy was getting it on with prostitutes, you got a view from inside his mouth at the woman licking her lips to kiss him. When he was at the shopping mall with his mistress, he sneezed and you saw the pathogens travel to a napping saleswoman, mouth wide open. When he was cockholding a woman who has suspected his real identity, she bit down on his arm and ran away with a bloody mouth. When he went on his crazy rampage through the city streets with a meat cleaver in one hand and a little girl by the neck, he went as far as spitting in people’s faces. At one point, he cut his arms, ripped off a piece of flesh, and sucked blood from his arm to spit at people. He spit blood at a cop in biohazard gear and slashed a hole in the outfit. In my head, I thought to myself, “What the F*** is WRONG with this FREAK?! He’s dangerous, he’s crazy, and he’s a tornado to be reckoned with!” In one of the scenes, he ran down some stairs screeching “EBOLA! EBOLA! EBOLAAAAAA!!!” Yet another sick and creepy movie…

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