Outrageously professional quotes by Dr. Schecter, my biochemistry professor. Instead of paying attention in my classes, I was compiling his awesome professional quotes from an incredibly ‘educational’ first semester:
“You don’t need honors to do a rectal!” – Med students just need to pass and not fret over that extra ‘honors.’
“I won’t tell your mother…” Regarding a frontside or backside attack of the anomeric carbon of an open-chain glucose.
“Old fart comes from good biochemistry” – What happens when lactose intolerants overload on banana split sundaes and Johnny Rockets’ milkshakes.
“When I go to diners on Long Island, I think the waitresses have I-cell disease” – Describing classic symptoms of a lysosomal storage disorder, which includes severe mental retardation, restricted joint movement, skeletal abnormalities, bouts of respiratory infections, cardiorespiratory complications, coarse facial features, and eventually death.
“Beer is much more healthy than Coca-Cola” – Because excess fructose in American junk food, such as high fructose corn syrup, leads to increased acetate feeding into fatty acid synthesis. High levels of triglycerides pave the path towards diabetes and artherosclerosis. Isn’t it funny to think that when you drink beer and alcohol, you’re consuming what the yeast excretes??
“Play golf, not tennis” – As Schecter’s clinical treatment for McArdle’s disease, where patients are missing muscle glycogen phosphorylase. Symptoms include muscle pain and fatigue, muscle cramping following exercise, myoglobinuria, and kidney failure.
“Demented Renaissance” – In describing how too much L-dopa leads to hypersexuality, in nursing homes (?)
“Without apoptosis, we’d be better swimmers” – Prenatally, the webbing of hands and feet are destroyed to give us fingers and toes. Cell death is a normal part of the beginning (and end) of life. Otherwise, we’d be mutant amphibians.
“Apoptosis can be divided into 4 stages: Death signals, Integration or Control Stage, The Execution Phase, and Removal of Dead Cells by Phagocytosis… Death Signals. This is getting morbid” – Biochemistry of Apoptosis. These proteases called ‘caspases’ initiate apoptosis and cellular executions: cyt c, death receptors, killer lymphocytes. Sounds like an underground criminal mafia gang, like the Chinese triad (三合會). Check out the 2002 Hong Kong film, Infernal Affairs 無間道, featuring Tony Leung and Andy Lau. Guns, blood, and treachery bombard this crime-thriller. It’s like mayhem that goes through our bodies every day to prevent uncontrolled cell division and renegade cells from going on a murdering rampage.
“And then all hell breaks loose in the cell… that’s very dramatic. I like it” – Yes, pure hell. Once the caspases set off the mayhem, entropy only increases. The protease cascade is quick, self-amplifying, destructive, and irreversible. O boy.
“It’s better to be a little kinky than too straight” – Dr. S. McLaughlin, talking about cis double bonds adding kinks to unsaturated fatty acid tails.